Sunday, December 24, 2006

Happy Holidays from the Wonderbear!


Hello Wonderbear fans!

Sorry that I haven't written in a while, but I've been busy on my promotional tour. I've been through Los Angeles, Tucson, and I'm currently in San Diego. My new hat is a gift from my Auntie! Happy Holidays (whichever holiday you celebrate), and I'll travel some more in the New Year!!!

Keep Travelin'
SWB

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Las Vegas Death Tour 2006

Mommy and daddy took me to Las Vegas this past weekend. I wanted to hang out at the Bellagio pool and bask in my new internet superstardom. They had other ideas though. We were going to look at the parts of Vegas that were showing their age.



We stayed at the Golden Nugget. It is undergoing some massive renovations. They will have new restaurants, new games, a new poker room, and even a second Starbucks! I was shocked to see that they got rid of most of their gold nuggets. They only had the Hand of Faith nugget left. They are auctioning the rest off. That doesn’t make sense to me. That’s like The Flamingo having a poultry roast near the pool.



While the Golden Nugget undergoes its renovations, they have added some exciting things in the lobby. This is Michael Jordan playing piano. Not only can he hoop it up, but he’s a classically trained pianist. I didn’t believe daddy when he told me that it was a bronze statue.



Here I am in the Stardust. The Stardust will be closing on November 1st, 2006. It really is rundown. They still have slot machines that use coins! In preparation for the closing they have closed down most of the food and shopping. The only place we could find to eat was a little “Euro Deli” that served us Polish sausages. Mommy got really sick with food poisoning that night. It was very unpleasant.



Here I am with a suit of armor at the Excalibur. Sometimes I dream of being a knight. Then I remember that being a bear is way cooler.



In Downtown Las Vegas, they have the Neon Museum. This is where old neon signs are restored and put out on display. This sign is Andy Andersen, from the Andersen Dairy Company.



This is the lamp from the original Aladdin casino. It looks really neat at night. Too bad the current Aladdin casino sucks so much that they needed to change it into a Planet Hollywood casino. Or at least they have said they will. It’s been years and they still aren’t done with the transformation. You probably can't see me, but I'm hanging near the bottom of the lamp. All of those light bulbs get hot!



I always like making new friends on these trips. This is Aces. He is the official spokesbear for Las Vegas. He welcomed me to town, and then asked me if I was staying for a couple of nights, if I wanted to see a show, and if I wanted to learn about a fabulous vacation opportunity. Remembering daddy’s experience in Sedona, I declined and refused to make eye contact with him after that.

I really enjoyed my vacation in Vegas. I hope you enjoyed the pictures.

Keep Travelin’
SWB

Saturday, October 07, 2006

The Statues of Glendale Community College

Daddy took me to Glendale Community College. I thought that a college campus would be a place of fun, joy, and learning. In reality, the place was full of smut and filth. I don’t consider myself a prudish bear, but some of the statues here were just too much. And they let the young, impressionable children wander around this campus.



Here is the first offensive statue. Look at those breasts. Ummm…there’s not really anything else offensive about this, but just look at those breasts! I feel ashamed to be near this place.




Here’s a mother and child. I can’t believe that this statue is here. Why do the mother and child have to be white? What about us brown Americans? Glendale Community College must be racist.


I think this one is Britney Spears giving birth to her second crotch spawn.



C’mon. You know what this one represents.



This one has a big hole in it. The symbolism is just disgusting.



I don’t even know what this one means, but I’m sure that it is offensive. I felt offended, I just don’t know why. And this next one is the most offensive of all:



Need I say more?

I call upon the citizens of Glendale and the Arizona Cardinals to get rid of this filth. Keep the college safe for children and little bears. Next time, I'll have some pictures of Las Vegas.


Keep Travelin’
SWB

Friday, October 06, 2006

Okay...the bear is on MySpace

Due to popular request, I have opened my own personal MySpace account. Search for Stewart the Wonderbear, or just go to www.myspace.com/beartraveller.

Also, mommy and daddy tell me that we are going somewhere this weekend. I don't know where. I bet we'll get some pictures of me there!

Keep Travelin'
SWB

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Daddy screws up! Sedona 2006 Part 2.

Hey there Wonderbear lovers!!!

It’s been really great to see how many of you have looked at the Wonderbear Travel site. People from Oregon, Utah, Minnesota, Florida, Brazil, and some strange place called AOL have shared my travel with me. Spread the word about the bear.

Sorry that I haven’t posted in a long time. Daddy grounded me from the computer. I tried to tell him that it was just a pop-up and that I would NEVER look for sites like that, but daddy insisted on teaching me a lesson.

Today, part two of our Sedona Arizona trip!



Being a bear who wants to be famous, I was really excited when we saw the Motion Picture Museum on the streets of Uptown Sedona. It looked like a really neat place. I begged daddy to let us go in. I thought there would be lots of artifacts and heirlooms of famous people who filmed movies in Sedona, like Roy Rogers, John Wayne, and Elvis Presley (no kidding, the movie was Stay Away Joe). Imagine my disappointment when I only saw a few cardboard cutouts and small pictures on the wall. It turns out that the museum was really a front for a timeshare operation. I wanted to cut and run, but daddy was tempted by the offer of a $100 reward for taking a tour. He is so greedy sometimes. How mommy puts up with him, I don’t know.



This is the front of the Sedona Pines Resort. They didn’t like cameras inside the resort. They said it was because of industry secrets. I think they were just afraid that the pictures would make it on my website and they would be overrun with tourists seeking out places where I have been. Anyway, we met up with Marla who gave us a great tour. And then Marla turned us over to Dick.



Dick lived up to his name, not stopping the pressure tactics until I was left naked and quivering. It was like he was going to take out his frustration at not getting a sale on the bear. Mommy and daddy barely saved me from losing my virtue



But we made it out of the hell and went on our way to the Out of Africa Wildlife Park http://www.outofafricapark.com/. This park was really neat. I didn’t realize that there were so many wild animals in Africa. There were lions and tigers seen by a bear, Oh My! This here is the guy who welcomed us to the gift shop.



These are my new friends, Chakara and Payson. They are North American black bears. I asked them why there were here with African animals. They told me that it was a living. They get three square meals a day, and all the tourists they can eat.



Here I am saying goodbye to my new bear buddies. I asked daddy if I could eat a few tourists, just to see what it is like. Daddy got really pale and told me to get back in the messenger bag. Sometimes he doesn’t let me be me.


Thanks for all of your support. Help me spread the word of the Wonderbear!

Keep Travelin’
SWB

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

The Bear in Red Rock Country

Last weekend, mommy and daddy took a trip to northern Arizona, up to Sedona. The scenery has to be seen to be believed. It is red and mountainous; the vegetation is lush, particularly for how hot Arizona summers get. Of course, I had to come along to get more pictures taken.


The hotel room was large and wonderful. We stayed at the Sedona Rouge Hotel and Spa. Here I am taking a nap before we do more exploring. This lambskin blanket would cost $79 if we took it with us. Unfortunately daddy said that was too much money for a little cute bear.


Here I am sitting on the LCD television. We really need one of these. Animal Planet comes in so clear, it is like Steve Irwin is hanging out right next to me.


This is on the observation deck of the hotel. Notice how cool the mountain in the background looks. The scenery is the best part of Sedona. I’m not really an “art bear.”


I hate it when places try to keep me out. Fortunately, mommy and daddy consider me a valued member of the family, and not some ordinary pet. This was taken in an art center whose name I can’t pronounce.


Speaking of art, there are these javalinas (desert pigs) all around town. They have been decorated in different ways to say something about Sedona. I have no idea what they are trying to say. The cows in Chicago told me that the pigs were biters. I don’t know what that means. This pig sculpture is called “Wisdom,” and it was created by Isa Cooley and Axel Soldwedel.


This friend of mine is called “Bankin’ on it” by Ken Rowe. He is a cool bear. I could have taken him home with me, but he was even more expensive than the lambskin blanket. Plus, I don’t think I could have dealt with the competition. I’m more of a loner bear.


In Uptown Sedona, there was this little girl who wanted to take my picture. Of course I obliged. I even let this cowboy statue be in the picture, because I am a generous bear like that.


After a long day, we stopped for more pictures of the beautiful scenery. Look at that unbelievable sight. And the mountain behind me is great too.

The trip to Sedona was amazing, but it was not all sunshine and lollipops. Daddy made a big mistake that almost ruined it for all of us. Next time, I’ll tell you the story of daddy vs. the time share people.

Keep Travelin’
SWB

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Viva Las Vegas! 2005

I’ve been to Las Vegas many times. It is like a second home to me. I love the food, the shows, and the gambling. But I really like to get my picture taken everywhere I can. This trip to Las Vegas was in June 2005. Mommy and daddy didn’t do much gambling this trip, but we did visit some very cool places.


This is the Coca-Cola Polar Bear. PB for short. He lives in the World of Coca-Cola museum and shop under the huge Coke bottle on the Strip. He sits in the shop and visits with tourists all day. He also drinks a LOT of Coke. That might be why he is so big. I gave him some advice about weight loss, but PB likes the Coke too much to ever give it up.



This is Princess Leia. She lives in the M&M World shop near the Coca-Cola place. This was shortly after Star Wars Episode III came out. Something about her made me really horny.


Of course, when you go to Las Vegas, you have to pay your respects to the King. Daddy insisted that I talk to Elvis for a bit. This statue is in the Las Vegas Hilton, where Elvis performed from 1969-1976. Elvis rocks! He ate what he wanted to, made love with who he wanted to, and took large amounts of prescription medication. That’s a real man!


Here I am in Star Trek: The Experience at the L.V. Hilton. I’m sitting on Spock’s coffin from Star Trek II: The Search for Spock. We’re here because daddy is a big geek. He prefers classic Trek. Mommy prefers Picard from The Next Generation. I prefer Voyager. Janeway is hot and Seven of Nine makes my tummy feel funny.


After a long day of sightseeing, I need to relax with a Borg Sphere in Quark’s Lounge. One of these drinks, and I am ready for bedtime.

Thanks for your visits!

Keep Travelin’!
SWB